Loser!

Today marks the first time I will ever want to be an actual loser! The faculty at my school is having it's very own Biggest Loser competition. We had this last year and being in a small school, in a small town I had no desire to have my imperfections on display for all the town. Gossip is like breathing around here, and the adults treat it like it's there key to life. I sat on the sidelines and simply observed how it would work - would your actual weight be on display, would your inability to lose be out for everyone to know... I was quite surprised at how well the competition went last year. The only thing that was ever displayed was who the bigger losers of each week were, weights were never known only the losses.

So I have decided to step up and try my hand at this. Maybe this will be the thing that gives me that push to lose all this weight. Now I can't put all of it off on being "baby weight," before I became pregnant I want to lose ten pounds, but then 30 of it is what I have not lost since Khloe was born. Not that I want to make excuses, but I was doing so well with not putting a ton of weight on while pregnant. Then in the end it was strange it seemed as if no matter what I did I got bigger everywhere, but my stomach. I was growing, but she wasn't. This unfortunately is one of the many side effects of eclampsia... I do have to say I am proud of my self for not gaining anymore weight since then. I do know someone who has, they complain about it and then stuff their face with even more food - go figure.

My problem is this, I don't make time for myself. I tend to wake up shower go to school, devote myself to my classes, go to cheer practice 2 days a week, a game one. When I go home I'm all about Khloe and family. I always say that I'm going to walk on the treadmill, that is collecting dust in the basement, but then I begin to feel guilty that I'm going to take an hour away from Khloe. I say okay when she's asleep I will do it, then Kevin gets home and I for some strange reason I enjoy spending time with my husband - odd isn't. Essentially, I never make time to workout, I haven't even had a hair cut in over a year! It's clear I need to find time for myself!

The initial weigh in was today and I'm pretty excited.